I LOVE Pumping! Said no one ever

I have a love hate relationship with pumping. 

This last week was pretty horrible. With Sean being sick, Max cluster feeding and pumping on top of all that it's been kinda exhausting around these parts. 

I feel like I'm missing out on somethig special this time around because I don't get to nurse Max as enjoy those precious cuddles the same way. I know lots of women who either can't or don't like or don't want to breastfeeding and there babies turn out healthy. I really enjoyed nursing Sean though. There was a nice bond formed there. 

Don't let me fool ya though. I still have a bond with Max. I love this little boy to pieces. Maybe this is the whole grieving process that I read about when ya want to nurse but can't. I laughed at it at first and now I understand. It sucks. My chest was not made to be pulled at by a machine. 

It is nice that every three hours for twenty minutes I get to sit back and put my feet up. I also get to listen to the noise of a machine though. Not pleasent. Sean's learning he can cause mischief in this time because mommy can't/won't chase after him. (He'd have figured that out anyway if I had been nursing Max).

I am grateful for technology that I can still pump and give Max my milk (or cream as we call it) and that I have more than enough for him. I'm also glad that we bought a second deep freeze so I have room to store all this excess milk. So that I can quit pumping one day and still give him breast milk that is oh so good for him. 

As I said. Love hate relationship. I hate bottles.

Can't wait till the end of August. That's when I've decided I'm done pumping. Hopefully I have a good enough store by then.